Scumbag brain

I don’t trust myself, and here is a list of reasons why that is:

Availability heuristic

Even though I remember the things that happen all the time, I seem to doubly remember the things that were terrible, even if they only happened once or twice.

As it happens, my brain will over-estimate how likely the later case will occur. And it can over-estimate greatly in some cases.

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

Relative versus absolute

Similar to ‘keeping up with the Jones,’ the daily Malthusian struggle plagues me just as much as the next guy.

When someone wins around me, I can’t help feel that I am losing.

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

Bad is stronger than good

I can think of a million bad things that could result from a given position, but I can only conjure up just a few good results, all the same.

As much as I tend to see the world in a positive light, I am a virtuoso at imagining damning outcomes for any circumstance.

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

Ever widening ‘bads’

When I learn something, I always afix it to something I’ve already bothered to learn.

Now, that’s fine, but when it comes to solving problems, or dealing with things that just don’t work, my understanding becomes deeper and my criticism becomes ever more refined (ad infinitum).

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

Reminiscence bump

When I was ten years old, I didn’t have many accolades. I have relatively more thirty years later. And therein lies the problem.

Nostalgia for increasing numbers of past wins makes me ever more satisfied with the present and wouldn’t you know … this leads to a kind of laziness for ‘the now.’

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

Timeline delta

Good things take time to nurture and grow, but bad things only require a single swing of a sledgehammer.

With this reality, progress seems invisible; while regress, palpable.

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

Pessimism reduces expectations

Happiness is surprisal, so if one takes a pessimistic expectation of an event, then in the chance it should all work out, one makes out but also had a hedged position if one was to lose.

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.

‘Turning-point-itis’

Even though I’m aware that progress is real, I still underestimate the future unfairly.

In a static world, it does seem that the future is pretty bleak. But, we know the world is dynamic and a final eschaton is never possible for creative humankind.

This mis-programming is responsible in part for my scumbag brain.